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Golf Jokes: Top 10 Caddy Comments. Ten funny comments by Golf Caddies.
This is apparently from David Letterman. This is a top 10 list of funny golf caddie comments. Some of these sound like old old old jokes, but they are all pretty funny. Picture yourself having the worst golf game of your life, and this caddy “helping” you out with these comments…. How many golf clubs would you break?
David Letterman’s Top Ten Caddy Comments: Ten funny comments by Golf Caddies.
#10 -
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
#9 -
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
#8 -
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
7 -
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
6 -
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
5 -
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”
4 -
Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
3 -
Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”
2 -
Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
And the #1 Caddy Comment is:
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
Page topic: David Letterman Top 10 list: top 10 funny caddy comments by golf caddies.
I found this at http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/golf-jokes-top-10-caddy-comments-ten-funny-comments-by-golf-caddies.html
The game bores most people senseless, so why are so many of the planet’s resources dedicated to it?
As the golf world gears up for the final stages of the US Open this weekend, and the rest of the world yawns, it is worth pausing to consider what a pernicious phenomenon golf truly is. No, this is not a diatribe about the game’s elitism, its sexism, how frustrating it is to play, boring it is to watch, or how silly its outfits and traditions are – though all of that is true. Those are all normative points, and, to varying degrees, reasonable people can differ on their merits.
Continue this golf hate article by clicking here, then comment right here at WhyDoYouLoveGolf.com
This post is written by Elizabeth Cutten. She runs MyCCFinder, a fantastic printable coupon site helping those find deals and steals.
A few years ago, I thought I would start up golf. The reason that I started doing this was solely based on the fact that many of my friends and co-workers were doing it in my free time. What’s not to love about it? You’re going to be enjoying nice weather, it doesn’t take a lot of work if you’re a golf cart, and the scenery is beautiful!
Again, this is what I thought about it a few years back. Today, after 10 golf lessons, I just can’t get the grasp of it. Granted, I’m not the one to quit, but golf is one of the first things where I just want to throw the towel in. Listed below are 5 reasons I hate golf and why I’m probably never going to back to it again.
#1 It takes way too long to learn: Even with a golf pro, I have found that I just can’t get the hang of it. I truly believe that golf is only designed for some people. Every time I took a swing, the instructor would say, “I’m too tense!”, or “You didn’t keep your head down!”
#2 It’s more frustrating than anything: Golf is supposed to be fun but how can it be when you get to hole #1, swing your club, and the ball either goes 20 feet or it swings off path into the woods next to you. This is where you just want to pull your hair out.
#3 It’s very embarrassing at times: There are times where you’re going to tee off and the people behind you are going to be waiting. Not only did this put more pressure on me to succeed, I felt nervous. Again, my swing looked awful and the ball barely went anywhere. I could only imagine what the people behind me thought about it.
#4 Eats away at my wallet: I think one of the first times that I went out to golf, it set me back $65. “Holy smokes!”, I thought. This included my cart and greens fee. This $65 was more of a stress creator more than anything. If it was a little cheaper, I could have enjoyed it more! Those that know me, know that I’m fairly frugal.
#5 I just don’t fit in: I love pulling up to the parking lot and I see the men with their name brand clubs, gloves, and the BMW. Oh, how I love many of these 40k millionaires. Those that tend to act rich really tick me off and honestly, this isn’t the crowd that I want to wine and dine with.
I’m sure some of you can read this and think, “Wow! I agree.”, or you may just laugh and say, you just don’t have the patience to learn the game. Sure, maybe if I took the time to learn the game, I might enjoy it more, but in the mean time, I will continue to hate the sport!
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How to Break 80 in Golf – Just a Few Tips Could Teach You How to Break 80 in Golf in No Time
So, whether you have just taken up the game of golf or have been playing for years, breaking 80 in golf is the biggest challenge. You want to learn how to break 80 in golf and can’t seem to beat that magic number?
The almighty slice or 3-putt seems to ruin your chances everytime. Or, you haven’t even broken 90 yet, so you wonder how you are going to knock off another 10+ strokes? Read more to learn.
The first time I did it was on a decent course. It was a sunny day and I was 15 years old. Now I was no Tiger Woods, but I did learn how to break 80 in golf that day.
I had just 3 putted the par 3 17th hole and was very aggravated as we get when we make a stupid mistake. This put me having to birdie the final hole to break 80 for the first time.
I took a deep breath and visualized the shot. My dive was perfectly down the left side of the fairway setting up a nice second shot to the green. With a 9 iron out and about 160 yards away (I tend to hit the ball long), I again visualized what I wanted.
I am not the strongest putter in the world, but I knew if I could get it within 10 feet I’d have a legitimate shot. My turn arrives and I step up and do my waggle/routine. A smooth swing and the ball sailed perfectly towards the hole.
I am watching, hoping, and waiting to see what happens next. The ball lands and I feel I am close enough to make birdie for a 79. All of a sudden the ball disappears into the hole! Holy Cow! I had to run to the green just to make sure. Not only did I discover how to break 80 in golf that day, but I also discovered how to make an eagle for the first time!
So, what are my tips for learning how to break 80 in golf?
**Practice. You can easily shave strokes off your game by practicing. But, it has to been perfect practice. If you don’t know how to correct your slice or chip the ball near the hole, then you won’t be able to fix it with practice. So what do you do? You watch others. Watch videos, read magazines and books, or even hire someone. I never had to hire a coach and I learned by watching and reading then going out and doing.
**Golf is a mental game more than anything. Tony Robbins once showed someone how to break 80 in golf just by utilizing the thing between your ears. Your body listens to your brain and if you focus on visualization and knowing what you want the ball to do before you do it, you’ll have a much better chance of making that happen.
**You must be able to play the short game. I never would’ve broken 80 if I had not learned how to putt and chip well. I still don’t do well in the sand, so I stay away from it. Going back to mental, if I land in the sand, my mind is already saying bogey or worse.
**The clubs are important. You can’t begin to tell me that if you aren’t comfortable with your clubs you can still shoot a great round. Maybe today I can go out and still do well with old, hard to hit clubs, but I would rather take the oversize drivers, state of the art irons and balls, and give myself a better chance of breaking 80. The type doesn’t matter. It is how they feel in your hands that make the difference.
**Have Fun. You will never learn how to break 80 in golf if you get frustrated and treat every shot like it is your chance to win The Masters. Everyone has a bad round and things just don’t go our way on the course from time to time. At that point, just relax, have some fun, and make the rest of the round as best you can – trust me, throwing clubs in the woods doesn’t help.
It took me 5 years to learn how to break 80 in golf. It all started with what was inside of me. Everyone has the ability to shave a ton of strokes off their game, but without some practice both physically and mentally, it will never happen. If you are happy shooting 3-digit scores, then keep at it, but if you want to compete with the big boys, then get to work.
If your golf score stinks or you just can’t seem to overcome the hump of breaking 80 then we’ve got just what you need. Learn how to break 80 in golf.
Click here for Information on The Official How To Break 80(tm) Golf Instruction Program.
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7 Super Tips Professional Golfers use that you can use too!
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